Inside The Eyes Of A Mad Woman

To crazy to talk with?

2006-05-17T05:42:00.000-07:00

I thought that talking was ment to be good for you, be it with a friend or proffesional. I thought that if you finally trusted someone to talk with afer a lot of years that that would be a good thing.

Apperently not.

Being with Jesus

2006-05-16T08:29:00.000-07:00

Close your eyes
Imagine your walking along the beach. The sun is just begning to set in a almost cloudless sky. the waves are calm and almost silent as they crawl up to meet your feet. the only other sound you can hear is from a couple of seagulls playing chase in the sky.
the beach is empty apart from someone in the distance. you walk on. getting closer to him. The man is dressed in white and is standing looking out to sea. You know in your heart the man is Jesus. You get up close beside him and before you get the chance to say anything or tap him on the shoulder he turns around to look at you. His eyes are beautiful so full of love and grace and mercy you fall to your knees. Jesus then takes u by the arms and he lifts you up and tilts your head so your facing him again. He looks deep into your eyes and says "I love you, come sit with me and talk".
You sit down next to him on the sand and he turns to you and says "Tell me everything that hurts you, everything that makes you cry. Tell me everything that makes you smile and everything that makes you laugh. Tell me all the things your grateful for and all the things you wish never had"...
Still keeping your eyes closed...this is your chance...Its just you and Jesus. alone. No one can hear what you tell him becuase u speak through your heart to his heart. Share with him in your mind and heart now anything you want to.
Still keeping your eyes closed.......now imagine
Jesus then stands up, you stand up to meet him. He picks up a stone from the sand and hands it to you and says "hold this stone and think of all the sin you have done wrong"...Now Take the stone from his hands and think of things you have done wrong recently that you know would hurt Jesus...
Then Jesus takes the stone from you and throws it far deep into the ocean. he turns to you and says "No longer will God remember your sin for I took your place. My blood covers you and protects you".
Jesus then takes you in his arms and holds you in his embrace and whispers in your ear "I am the way, the truth and the light".."I love you with an everlasting love". Anytime you need me and the world is too crazy to bear it on your own. meet me here and come talk for a while. I'll be here waiting".

giving up?

2006-04-27T14:44:00.000-07:00

I dont know what to do

I know how I feel
I shouldnt feel it but I do
I just want everything to end
Want to curl up and let the world go over me
I dont want this anymore
I dont

Too far gone.

2006-03-24T14:42:00.000-08:00

Why do I feel this way even though I know you are in control?
Why do many feelings thoughts emotions go through my mind?
Why do I want to live your will yet want to end it all?
Take it from my hands and let me close my eyes
Let it be your turn to take my life away from my hands
Let you be the one who turns the corners and gently covers me
I cant do this on my own im running out of ways to carry it off
the fake smile isnt working anymore and my scars are plain to see
summer is coming soon and the marks will be clear to all
cover them please with your hands of mercy and let me forget
Let me forget everything
take all these burdens from my heart please so i may see clearly again
I am frozen with fear and deaths holding his hand to me
I want to take his fingers and touch his cold embrace
Hold me away from him please
just cover me
never let me go
dont make it too late
is it too late???
Am I to far down for you to reach me now?
Has the power of dark overrun you
This cant be true your greater then that
then why do i feel so alone
so lost
hurt
scared

i'm angry at you for letting me feel this for letting me deal with this all alone. and yet i love you more then life. for goodness sake this is driving me crazy how far down do you want me!!!!!!!!

Graveside

2006-01-30T02:05:00.000-08:00

So today I have a funeral to go to, I have been to other funerals before but never of a close friend. It all feels a bit wierd I don't really know how I'm ment to feel. I find myself crying but not for the reason I should be, I just do not know how to handle this situation. Last night I was in a bad way as I am today I am in the frame of mind to just walk into the sea and let it take me down.

I Just meed the control back and I have not got that with my friend, I can't just bring her back. Although I do have the control over my own life Or death

Yvonne
x

TONIGHT!!!!!

2005-10-09T14:46:00.000-07:00

Well Nathan asked me and I said yes...

I Love him very much and now I'm engaged.

yay
xxxxxx

Confused

2005-09-30T15:39:00.000-07:00

Hello again,

Well tonight is strange, I'm feeling rather unhappy and a bit distant. I have a few friends here at the moment and still I'm feeling totaly alone :(

It feels like in the world world not one person can see or hear me. It's not a nice feeling.

The world is closing in on me and I dont know why??????????

It's like I'm trying to talk but am not getting heard...WHY CANT YOU HEAR ME!!!!!!

Take your time and dry your eyes
Breathing in the darker skies
Life it did not last that long
somehow death didnt seem that wrong
im sorry that you dont understand
The reason i took deaths cold hand
but now im gone and its to late
my path ended sealed my fate

Goodnight
xxxx

Nightime Scares

2005-09-29T15:32:00.000-07:00

Hello one and all (Well Laurence)

Tonight I watched a trailer for the remake of the old classic film "The Fog"...Looked very scary and made me jump a little bit. Not the same story as that book I was reading last night (I finished That last night by the way)...VERY good book. They should make a film on the book now that would make a great movie:)

Today as been very relaxed me and Nathan just played around on the computer and chilled out..Very nice. cooked dinner tonight and experimented and didnt kill anyone (yay).

Tonight I was randomly thinking...

Where did my childhood go????????

Goodnight
xxx

Tonight

2005-09-28T13:50:00.000-07:00

Well Hello, This here is my first ever post...Wow:):)

Tonight is turning out to be a good night, my boyfriend is happily watching Cheers just beside me and bless him laughing alot:). I am here obviously writting this and outside the world is carrying on with whatever it has to do.

Strange how safe one can feel when in 4 walls and hidden away from the rest of the world.

Today was a good day me and Nathan (boyfriend) Walked into town to find a job found a few I quite liked so lets just see how it goes tomorrow when I ring them up.

I am reading a book called "the Fog" at the moment...quite a good book I'm not far from finishing it yet.

Ok Well thats enough rambling for tonight I bet your all alseep by now.

Still Goodnight
xx